Boomer Relationships: Three Strategies in a Relationship

Feb 262012

How’s your relationship with your spouse or significant other?

Whether it is someone new you just met or your lifelong partner, do you know how to keep the relationship going? Here are three strategies you can use to keep a relationship going or to rekindle a relationship you already have.

Expectations - What's Next?

Establish Expectations.

Why is this important? When you met “the one” – and talk of marriage begins, find out whether or not the other person wants to have children. This could be the deal breaker for one or the other. Find out what the other person wants in a relationship. This needs to be repeated throughout a marriage so both of you are on the same page. Having clear expectations helps to avoid those unpleasant times that occur when there is a vast difference in expectations.

Looking at Communication

Communication.

When you talk to anyone about buying a house you will be told there are three things to be concerned about: Location, Location, Location. In any kind of relationship there are three things to be concerned about: communication, communication, communication. I’m not a mind reader. How can you find out what the other person is thinking: Ask, of course. And you can’t expect someone to know what you’re thinking if you don’t tell them. Nobody likes an over-communicator. There are so many ways one can communicate with words and without words. Body language, facial language, tone of voice and volume are just a few. Establishing the frequency and types of communication might also be a good idea. For a new relationship, you want the other person to know you are interested and want to continue.

A Clock for Telling Time

Timing.

Timing is everything. In communication it is important to know when to say something and when to zip it. You may want to discuss something and your partner is just not in a good place to discuss anything. If you proceed – and many of us have done that – you learn quickly that the timing was all wrong. Just like the timing in a car – if it is off you know right away. Timing is the key to building any relationship.

Knowing expectations, using communication, and watching the timing for your communication are all vital to a successful relationship. Using these basic principles you will be on your way to build fulfilling, mutually beneficial relationships. Here are some more tips – enjoy this short video.

What are you doing to improve or keep your

relationship going with your partner?

Boomer Relationships – What? Coffee? Well….

Boomer Relationships 2 Responses »

Dec 222011

We all know coffee is supposed to be bad for us.

A Cup of Coffee

Just what is it that makes it bad. Well, for starters it has caffeine– perhaps the biggest culprit.

I Think I've Had Too Much Caffeine.

And of course the things you add in – like cream, sugar, flavored cream etc. What about the benefits of caffeine and coffee? Like enjoying a few minutes with co-workers on a “coffee break”, or having coffee with friends – while you also have some cake or pie with ice cream! Well maybe not the cake and ice cream – that is another topic for another day.

So it appears there is a social aspect to having a cup of coffee. Topics of conversation

Conversation and Coffee with Co-Workers

can vary from politics (not a good idea) to the weather (a safe topic) to family (can be a touchy topic) to work (may be a topic that stirs one up) to grandkids, children, neighborhoods, what happening in town and just plain gossip. No matter what, you are conversing and perhaps strengthening your relationship with that person or group. Even at home after a good dinner, there is always coffee to drink and good conversation at the table after dinner.

Good Conversation with a Special Someone

What if you don’t drink coffee? How about Tea? Or Pop? Or Water? Or Hot Chocolate (yum)? Or perhaps nothing but just being part of the conversation anyway. Have you ever paid attention to what kind of cups are used or offered? This is an interesting video on Coffee, Cups and Life.

Something to think about and consider when looking at our relationships – not only with others but our relationship with our self – perhaps the most important relationship we have is with our self. How do you see yourself in relation to … whatever? Your comments are always welcome here.

Boomer Relationships

Boomer Relationships 2 Responses »

Dec 152011

I received this in an email and it triggered some thoughts about the relationship I might have with “things” vs “people” and the importance of those relationships. As you read this please ponder what your relationship is with “things” vs “people”. This video presents some other things you might want to “ponder” about. Your comments are welcome no matter what your relationship with this stuff is. Enjoy and Ponder.

One day a father of a very wealthy

Money represents wealth

family took his son
on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of
showing his son how poor people can be.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of
what would be considered a very poor family. On their
return from their trip, the Father asked his son,

“How was the trip?”
“It was great, Dad.”
“Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked.
“Oh Yeah” said the son.
“So what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they
had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of
our garden and they have a creek

Creek with a great horizon

that has no end. We
have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the
stars at night. Our patio reaches to the
front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a
small piece of land to live on and they have fields
that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve
us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they
grow theirs. We have walls around our property to
protect us, they have friends to protect them.”

Friends forever

With this the boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added,
“Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are.”

Too many times we forget what we have
and concentrate on what we don’t have. What is one
person’s worthless object is another’s prize
possession. It is all based on one’s perspective.
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave
thanks for all the bounty we have, instead of worrying
about wanting more.

So – What do you think?

Rodin's The Thinker

The Sandwich

Boomer Relationships No Responses »

Oct 202011

Most everyone has heard the term “Sandwich Generation”. That means as you get into your 40′s and 50′s you may still have a teenager or two in the home or at college and you have aging parents who now require your attention – thus you are sandwiched between the two of them. Things are changing now and this could mean you are sandwiched between an adult child who has moved home with your grandchildren – you get sandwiched between them. There are many grandparents who are now raising their grandchildren alone because the parents are gone, disabled or simply not able to do it because of substance abuse etc. Believe it or not there are some people who just abandon their children. Many times the grandparents will step in and become the parent again. So – how do you handle it when an adult child calls and says, “Can I come home with my child – I’m getting a divorce and I have no place else to go?”. Your answer depends on your definition of family. You can say this will never happen to you, but one should never say never. Just my opinion here, but family is family. Family sticks together and supports everyone, no matter what. So – if you have the space, the adult child moves in. Lots of questions now – How long will they stay?, Should you charge rent? How do you delineate the space in your home as totally mine and not so totally theirs ( because it still your house after all)? Do you expect them to pay for food and share in the chores? This is just the beginning of all the adjustments you will need to consider. Everyone says getting a divorce is a big adjustment and when they move in with you – it’s a big adjustment for them etc. Well Folks – it is a huge adjustment for the aging parents too. As we age, we get “adjusted” to our routines and patterns. That gets disrupted in this process. I kinda like my routines and patterns. So you develop a lot of patience and become very flexible – those are skills one picks up along the path to being a senior citizen. The old adage, “Youth is wasted on the young” becomes ever so more meaningful as we age. Does this all sound confusing – well that’s because it is. What are your thoughts about this – have you experienced this in your life? Please share so we can all learn?

Retirement – Now What?

Boomer Relationships 1 Response »

Aug 242010

The time has come. Retirement age. All kinds of implications for you if you are the one contemplating retiring and for your spouse/partner if they are still working. If you have been together for many years, how will it be with one being home all day and one still working? How will it be if you are both retiring at the same time? I’m surviving my spouse’s retirement quite well because I still go to work every day. That’s one way. Another way is to get reacquainted with your spouse/partner. You can “court” each other again – you know – put on your best manners in an effort to be “personable” again. On the other hand, home is where you can be yourself and be accepted for who you are. Now that you have the freedom to do what you want, why isn’t that OK? Well it depends on how well you and your spouse/partner have worked at your relationship over the years. Some do a better job than others. Which one are you?

Relationships are tricky and rewarding at the same time. How is your communication? Could you benefit from brushing up on your communication skills? How well do you listen to your better half? Or do you “tune ‘em out”? There’s a saying about the three most important things to look for when buying a house/property – Location, Location, Location. In relationships there are three very important things to have in place – Communication, Communication, Communication. So start talking to your spouse/partner about how you feel, what you would like and then shut up and listen to your partner/spouse as they share the same things with you. Listening is an art and it takes concentration to remember to close the mouth and open the ears. Until later – Tikki

Boomer Relationships: Three Strategies in a Relationship

How’s your relationship with your spouse or significant other?

Establish Expectations.

Communication.

Timing.

What are you doing to improve or keep your

relationship going with your partner?

Boomer Relationships – What? Coffee? Well….

Boomer Relationships

The Sandwich

Retirement – Now What?

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